Now I have a new alter ego that I refer to as Rookie Mom. Rookie Mom makes a lot of mistakes. Rookie Mom needs regular reassurance.  Rookie Mom worries. A lot.

Rookie Mom does have a Voice of Reason. However, the Voice of Reason is, more often than not, muted by sleep deprivation and screaming baby. This leaves Rookie Mom feeling a little adrift and crazed at times.

Follow the adventures of Rookie Mom as she forgets the diaper bag at home, doesn’t have all the bath stuff within easy reach of the tub and cannot coax a burp out of her daughter for love nor money. Roll your eyes as she frets over the colour of poop, wonders if her baby is eating enough and checks for the umpteenth time to see if her sleeping infant is still breathing.

The roller coaster ride is just beginning.

The Birth House by Ami McKay. A historical novel featuring the conflicts between midwifery and the field of obstetrics in early 20th century Nova Scotia. Enjoyable reading and vaguely reassuring in the “women have been birthing babies for thousands of years and so can you” sense.

Let’s Panic About Babies by Alice Bradley and Eden M. Kennedy. When I started laughing myself to the point of tears in the middle of Chapters, I knew this was the book for me. I wish someone had given me this book when I first got pregnant, before I started scaring myself with all of those serious “expecting” books. Recommended for any expectant mom (or dad) who needs a little humour injection.

The Penguin Classic Baby Name Book by Carol McD. Wallace. Ah, so many names, so little time to choose…especially when there are so many great examples to be found in the realm of classic literature! Spend some time comparing relative merits of  ”gifting” your child  with a unique moniker, such as Hilarion or Fiordiligi versus one of those boring, common names, like John or Mary. I’m sure the therapy bills won’t be that much…and regular schoolyard pummelings build character, right?

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White. As far as I’m concerned, any time is a good time to read (or re-read) a children’s classic.  However, I found that pulling out a few of the old favourites during pregnacy put me in a relaxed and kid-friendly frame of mind. I also re-read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the entire Harry Potter series during the last month.

Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful by Gurmukh. A combination of pregnancy anecdotes,  Kundalini Yoga and meditation techniques, this is one that appeals to my inner hippie. I realize that not everyone is into this kind of thing, but personally, I found it soothing to read and (although it is definitely pro-natural birth) very supportive of whatever options are wanted or needed for a safe, positive birth experience. Even though I’ve read it from cover to cover, I’ll still pick it up and read a chapter here and there when my lizard brain won’t settle down.

So now that you know what I like to read, what about you? Any reading recommendations for the expectant?

Is the universe trying to tell me something? I’m going to take that as a ”yes”.

Um…yeah.

Now that my due date is officially here (and I am showing no signs of real labour yet), I’m starting to think that I may have been a bit hasty on that front.

So what’s a gal to do in that last bit of time after work ends and before the baby arrives, other than count the kicks delivered to her internal organs and treat persistent hemorrhoids? Here are three of my personal favourites:

Battle Insomnia: The best part of getting up to pee at 2am, is the part where you can’t get back to sleep. And since my husband is a very light sleeper, I do my best not to toss and turn…not an easy task when your mind is going a mile a minute and you’re a fidgeter at heart. This means I usually go lay on the couch and watch tv until I manage to fall asleep again. Surprisingly difficult, considering the state of late night/early morning tv.

Perfect Precision Crankiness: Instead of lashing out at anyone and everyone when those hormones start flowing, try to use your powers for good instead of evil and target those individuals who really deserve to feel your wrath. Like the landscaper who’s been “fixing” the hole that the power company dug in your lawn…for the last four freakin’ months.

Post-Pregancy Daydreams: Ah yes…wine, sushi, soft cheese, going for a run, sleeping on my stomach, bending over without wheezing…these things will all happen again. Soon. Right?

Now that I’m starting in on my 19th week, I am more inclined towards the belief that some books on pregnancy would better serve the world as doorstops, shims for leveling furniture and coasters. This is not because they don’t have any useful information in them. This is because they have too much information that can wreak havoc with the susceptible and paranoid pregnancy brain.

They talk about alcohol, soft cheese, sushi, mercury, household cleaners, cat boxes, too much exercise, not enough exercise, dehydration, deli meats, raw eggs, age, genetic predisposition, random diseases and on and on and on until you’re wondering if something you did in your early 20′s is now going to affect your unborn child over a decade after the fact. Or worse, you do everything right (ie. according to the book) and there’s still a problem because of factors outside your control.

And the best part? After all of that? They tell you stress is bad for the baby so don’t worry. Well I wasn’t worried…until you told me about the thousands of things that could go wrong with my child. And all of these before he or she even leaves the womb. (I won’t even start on the stuff that can go wrong after the fact.)

This is not to say that you shouldn’t educate yourself when you’re pregnant…you definitely should. Part of  being a responsible adult is knowing what can be harmful to your baby, avoiding potential risks and being prepared for problems. But seriously…take the books with a grain of salt and talk to your doctor if you’re really worried about anything. That’s what they’re there for, after all. 

In the end, it’s all about probabilities and potential risks. None of the bad things are guaranteed to happen and, in my opinion, if you spend all of your time reading and worrying about the things that could go wrong, you won’t be able to take pleasure in all of the things that go right.

1. Watch Less TV. This always seems like such an admirable (and attainable) goal to me. I mean, how hard can it be to press the off button on the remote? I will admit that George Eads is very easy on the eyes but I don’t really need to watch that rerun of CSI again, do I? It should be so easy and yet I know it’s doomed to failure. How do I know this resolution will bite the big one? I’m watching Lethal Weapon while I’m typing this. Draw your own conclusions.
2. Spend More Time Making Art. I always say I’m going to do this….sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Over the years I have become a master of distraction and procrastination but I can occasionally get my ass in gear and be productive for weeks at a time. How do I plan to address this resolution? I’ve started a new project. How do I plan to break it? I’m quite sure I will become “too busy” at some point over the next 365 days.  Feel free to prod me if my slacker tendencies resurface at any point.
3. Organize My Office. I love this resolution. So much so that I make it about every three months. And I do organize the office. And then I get busy. And then I forget to put something away. And then I become trapped under a landslide of old receipts and unfinished knitting projects. It’s very sad. Actually, now that I think of it, the problem isn’t the resolution, it’s the wording. I should be resolving to “keep my office organized” instead of just organizing it. Damn loopholes.
4. Be More Productive. I already know the problem with this one. It’s waaaay too general. I mean, how do you measure productivity? If it’s measured in list making, completed library books and dirty laundry build-up then I’m already ahead for the year.
5. Blog at Least Once a Week. Stop laughing. Seriously. This is another thing that I say I’m going to  do all the time. Like artwork, I go through very productive periods with blogging but it also falls off the radar when life gets hectic. I’m hoping that the new project mentioned in number two will encourage me to dust off the old keyboard on a more regular basis. But I won’t hold my breath.

But enough about me. What are your resolutions for the new year? And how do you plan to keep them on track?

My work has taken a strangely decorative turn lately. I’m drawn to fabrics, wallpaper, paint chips, patterns, etc. I’ve been indulging these proclivities in my Artist Trading Cards but it’s starting to leak into my other work…as can be seen in the vines in the lower painting. Will I be able to make it work? Or will I have to hack my way out of the jungle with a machete? Only time will tell…